


Still lonely together

by Winterdream



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Dark Jedi - Freeform, Dirty Talk, F/M, Falling In Love, Jedi, Love, Sexual Content, Sith, Slow Build, Star Wars - Freeform, Vaginal Fingering, cyborg, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-10 17:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20139193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterdream/pseuds/Winterdream
Summary: A story about a young woman who slowly falls in love with general Grievous.





	1. Pride

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any spelling / grammar mistakes. English is not my first language. If you find a mistake that really annoys you, just let me know, so I can correct it!

Four lightsabers. How was she supposed to win a fight against someone with four lightsabers? Her rival rotated the glowing swords in his hands and came closer, slowly. It was a frightening view. _This must be some kind of new battle droid_, the woman thought. The person she mistook for a droid was tall, taller than two meters, and made out of white metal. _It’s probably a new model_. He had four arms and four lightsabers, blue and green colored, but he didn’t seem to be able to use the force. The droid attacked her, but she was able to block the attack with her own lightsaber. Then she made a gesture with her hand to push him away. It worked and he didn’t even try to fight back. The woman ran towards him, jumped into the air, landed directly in front of him and attacked him. He blocked all of her attacks and when he attacked her himself, he did it carefully and almost weakly. She had no problem avoiding his actions. _This thing doesn't want to kill me_, she realised. _I'm gonna win this fight. _With another movement of her hand she pushed him away, until his back was pressed against a wall. With the help of the force, she held him down, disarmed him and put her sword against his throat.

“Enough!”, a male voice yelled. “Newt wins this duel.” The woman put away her sword. „General Grievous, I am disappointed in you. I am training Newt since only a few weeks and yet, she is stronger than you and was able to win against you.” The white-haired, old man shook his head.

“My rival isn’t even force-sensitive, master”, Newt explained.

“Yes, I am aware of that”, Count Dooku replied and crossed his arms. “And he didn’t try to do his best.”

“I think my partner didn’t want to hurt me.” Newt knew that saying something like that sounded stupid. Battle droids weren’t able to feel emotions like mercy or sympathy. But she felt some kind of restraint from the droid while fighting.

“If I wanted to kill you, I’d do it right now”, the droid replied with anger in his voice. He then began to cough very loudly and long. _How weird_, Newt thought. _Droids don’t cough_.

“Reconcile your differences”, Dooku said, turned around and left the training room. Newt was alone with the droid and just looking at him made her feel sick. She never saw something like that, so tall and scary, a true killer-machine. 

“Dooku’s training is very differently from the jedi-training”, Newt explained to her rival. "When I was fighting against another jedi padawan, our masters always made sure that nobody got hurt. It was never very serious or very brutal." 

“Why are you telling me this?”, the cyborg asked and coughed.

“I don’t want to hurt someone that’s standing on my side. You’re a general, right? So you’re important for my master. Even if I have no idea how a droid was able to get that far, I still don’t want to deactivate you.” General Grievous pulled out one of his lightsabers.

“I am not a droid”, he replied, with anger in his voice. Newt made a step backwards. The scales fell from her eyes. He was a cyborg, not a druid. He still had emotions and probably also still some parts of his old, own body under these metal plates. 

“I am so sorry, general. I didn’t know that.” Grevious came closer, but Newt had no intention in fighting against him again. He stared at her for a moment with his yellow, reptile-like eyes. Then he put his sword back, cursed under his breath and left the room.

Newt watched him leaving. Despite his size, the four arms and all his lightsabers, he almost seemed weak and fragile in this moment. She felt his insecurity. His back was crooked and all the coughing didn’t sound very healthy either. Also, the term droid really seemed to anger him. She felt bad for calling him that name, it must've been like an insult for him. 

_What a weird day_, Newt thought, shrugged it off and tried not to think about it any longer. She went back to her room. When not training with her new master, Newt would spent most of the day inside her room, meditating or reading books. Sometimes she would wander through his property, even though Dooku didn’t really like that. So far, she haven’t seen much of Serenno and Dooku obviously didn’t want to change that. Newt often would go out alone, since she had no other company here than Dooku and some droids. During her time as a jedi she often was annoyed by the close solidarity there, but now she started missing her life in the temple. At least she missed her friends, but leaving the jedi was a thing she didn’t really regret. She was convinced, that the jedi weren’t as great as they used to be and she often had the feeling she wasn’t welcome in the jedi community. Maybe the people around her felt her dark side or maybe they just didn’t like her. Newt didn't care about that anymore. She always tried to be herself and do her best. She wanted to be stronger and braver, she wanted to improve herself. She wanted power and riches, something jedi weren't allowed to have. And nevertheless, she also wanted to be loved. 

Newt never told her master about feeling lonely on Serenno. She liked Dooku, more than she liked her old master, but she also knew that showing any kind of weakness wasn't something people like her did. Newt also used to tell herself, everything would change eventually. Soon she would be allowed to go on missions, to fight against real enemies and to gain more power. She just had to be patient. 


	2. Overestimation

One day, Dooku told Newt about his own padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn and his master, Yoda, and about all the exciting adventures they went through together. Dooku seemed to like Qui-Gon Jinn quite much and as the Count was talking about the dead of his padawan, his voice almost sounded sad. The way Dooku talked about the man, astonished Newt since Dooku didn't really seem to be a very emotional person at all. 

But having a good relationship with her own master was something Newt had always wished for, but it never had happened. Newt didn’t know much about her old master, Mace Windu, although they were working together every single day during her time as a jedi padawan. He had always been reserved towards her, as if he wasn’t accepting Newt. She always thought it was because Mace was an arrogant and self-centered person. Newt now spend most of her evening together with Dooku, eating together, and he never got enough of telling her about his own achievements or giving her, in his opinion, good advices for fighting or using the force.

“Master”, Newt asked as there was a lapse in the conversation. “Why do I need to fight against this general?”

“Grievous? Because you both can learn from each other. You, how you can defend yourself against strong and fast enemies, and he, how he can fight against force-users that might be stronger than all the jedi he already killed. I trained Grievous myself, but he is not force-sensitive as you know. That is his biggest weakness. He might have killed a lot of jedi, but only because they were too slow for him or because they were outnumbered.”

“You trained him?”

“Well, yes. I tried to teach him how to fight with a lightsaber, but every idiot can learn how to fight with that. As long as Grievous can’t use the force, he will never be as strong as a real force-user.” “I understand”, Newt replied.

“He doesn’t really like me, I think.” Dooku furrowed his brows.

“He should start with that then, because you two will have to work together in the future. But apart from this, I don’t think that Grievous likes anyone else at all.” Dooku suggested Newt should fight against Grievous one last time and she agreed. She would win this fight again, she thought. Win it and made her master proud.

The training room was big and dark, with no natural sunlight shining in. A small droid that was used for medical help, was rolling around and one wall had three platforms, each one of them a little bit higher than the other, but except for these things, the room was empty. Newt decided to use these platforms and jumped right onto the first one during her fight with Grievous. He was way more aggressive then during her last fight, probably because she made him angry last time. Newt had to admit, Grievous really did scare her. At least in this moment.

He followed her to the platform and attacked her with all of his four lightsabers at once. He let the swords rotating in his hands and in this moment Newt feared, he really would kill her. She jumped on the highest platform and waited there for him, ready to attack. The general followed her and she attacked him, but missed. He kicked her, his foot hit her stomach and had so much power that Newt slid over the platform and fell down. The platform had a height of approximately seven metres and although Newt was able to soften the fall with help of the force, the landing was still a bit painful. She landed on her back and was, for a very long moment, unable to breathe normally.

She heard the general coming closer and she wanted to pull out her lightsaber, but it was gone. The sheath of her sword was empty. Where could it be? “Does this looks like restraint?”, Grievous asked and laughed. He raised his lightsabers, ready to pierce through Newts chest. She rolled herself to the side, with a fast beating heart. She stood up, discovered her lightsaber laying on the second platform and reached out her hand. It flight towards her and she picked it out of the air, while she tried to defend herself from Grievous attacks, with wobbly knees. Dooku was standing in front of the door and scratching his sharp chin with one hand. A sardonic smile appeared on his lips, while he watched the two fighters. Grievous was able to push Newt once again onto the ground by throwing himself on top of her. Newt wasn’t strong enough to push him away from her. She tried to kick him, but his hard, metal body didn’t even seem to notice her kicks and hits._ It’s not over yet_, Newt thought. Grievous lightened up one of his swords and threatened her. She raised her hand, made a crooked gesture, and lift the cyborg up in the air. She then stood up and continued fighting with him for a while, until Grievous had enough and disarmed her with two of his lightsabers.

“Just give up”, he told her. Newt hesitated. “Give up!” She tried to move her hand again, but Grievous threatened to cut it off if she would use the force again. She put her lightsaber on the ground and nodded. “Fine. You’ve won”, she replied angry. Giving up wasn’t something she liked and normally, she would avoid it at all cost. But maybe this was the punishment for calling the General a droid. Maybe he needed this kind of success. “I’m sorry for insulting you the last time, General Grievous. You’re a great fighter.” His only answer was a sigh.

Even a few hours later, Newts back was still hurting a bit. She decided to take a long, warm bath to get rid of the back pain. _This is definitely the price for my pride_, she thought. _I’ll never again say I’m stronger than some kind of crazy cyborg_. Newt had to realise, she was a victim of her own arrogance. She got rid of her clothes, put her dark, purple hair up in a bun and sat down in the hot water. Newt closed her eyes. _Will I ever get along with Grievous?_, she asked herself. Would she ever be able to make any new friends at this place? Did she needed friends at all? Maybe it was better to just be alone, at least for a while. Having friends wasn’t important for a sith, or a dark-jedi (what she really was in her opinion). No, it wasn’t important at all, and although she admired Grievous for his strength and his speed, he really wasn’t a person she wanted to be friends with.


	3. Changes

Newt met Grievous again a few days after their last fight, as she was visiting the spaceship harbour of Dookus property. She often would sit at the harbour to watch the different spaceships and talking to the arriving guests, which unfortunately weren’t many most of the time. Normally especially small ships would land here, but today she saw a giant, dark ship flying towards the harbour. It was fifth of the size of a normal star destroyer. Newt watched the ship a while before it landed and its crew came out. To her surprise, she discovered general Grievous coming out of the ship as well. As he approached her, they exchanged glances for a second.

“Dooku isn’t here”, Newt said, as Grievous was standing in front of her.

“What? Where is he? He told me he would be here.”

“I don’t know, but he should be back this evening.”

“I’ll wait.”

“As you wish.”

Dooku had some kind of terrace, where his guests were allowed to wait for him. It was a small outdoor area with some chairs, tables and droids that brought drinks or snacks to the guests. Newt sat down in front of Grievous. “Where have you been?”, she asked, just to start a conversation with him. Talking to someone else than Dooku was a welcoming change. Grievous told her about his latest mission, but fell quiet after that. The atmosphere was tense. Newt felt insecure for whatever reason, but she still preferred this feeling over the loneliness that was omnipresent on this planet. “I wish, I could go on missions as well. I think, Dooku still doesn’t really trust me. I spend every day in this building, from morning to night. If I want to go outside, see more of this planet, his guards stop me. I’m almost feeling like a prisoner. Of course, Dooku trains me in fighting and sometimes I'm even allowed to fight against battle droids, but most of the time, my life here is pretty boring."

“Why are you telling me this?”, Grievous asked and coughed.

“Because I’m happy when I have company, even if my company is just as unbearable as you, general.” Newt grinned, but Grievous gave her the evil eye. “Don’t you feel sometimes lonely, general? I’m sure you know this feeling as well.”

„True.“ Newt looked at him. Maybe he wasn’t that brutal monster she thought he was. He was hard to read. His appearance was brutal and cold, his voice always raspy and somewhat emotionless and for Newt, it was hard to tell which parts of his body still were his owns. His eyes, his lungs, probably also his brain and maybe his heart? It was hard to tell who he _really_ was. “Did I… hurt you? The last time we were fighting.” Newt was surprised by this question.

“Why do you care?”

“Maybe I was a bit too brutal to you.”

“I like it brutal.” Newt grinned again and even Grievous started laughing. _Newt, what are you doing?_ , she was asking herself. _Stop flirting with that thing_. “Well, general, I do like your fighting style. You’re very strong.”

“It would be better if I was force-sensitive or still had my old body. I envy you.”

“I think, we’re a good team. But not, if we fight against each other. We need to fight together…”

“Count Dooku wants you to join me during my missions. He told me.”

“Probably the reason why we had to fight against each other in the first place. We were supposed to learn from each other.”

“Believe me, there aren’t many other cyborgs out there with four lightsabers.”

“I do believe that.” She gave him a smile, he eyed her. Just talking with him and looking at him was kind of exciting for Newt. It was something new, it made now even fun.

Newt was thinking about her conversation with general Grievous for days. He truly was more than a killer-machine, and she was fascinated by him. The more she got to know him, the more time she wanted to spend with him. She wanted to know where he originally came from and why he was a cyborg now, but she was afraid to ask him, since she didn’t want to be impolite again. One time she tried to ask Count Dooku these things, but as he wanted to know why she was so fascinated by Grievous, she felt humiliated and never talked about that topic again. Dooku, however, allowed her to accompany Grievous on his next mission. Newt never before was so happy about being able to go on a life-dangerous mission, she wanted to leave Serenno more than anything else. If not a clone trooper or jedi would kill her, boredom would. Dooku wouldn’t accompany them, for whatever reason. Newt didn’t mind. Just sending her, Grievous and a bunch of battle droids would do it too. The only thing she was afraid of, was seeing her old master, Mace Windu. She wanted to avoid him at all costs. Mostly, because she didn’t really want to be forced to kill him. Even though they never got along very well, he didn’t deserved to get killed by his old padawan.


	4. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on "The Clone Wars - Season 3, episode 2"

Kamino, home of the clones. A planet mostly covered by water with almost never ending rain. Newt loved rain, she loved the sound of rain tipping against windows and she loved the smell of wet summer earth after it rained, but on Kamino it really rained too much, even in her opinion. 

It was Newts task to steal clone-DNA for the separatists, while Grievous would distract and kill the clones with help of their battle droids. The plan sounded simple, but realising it wasn’t that easy. Kamino was secured well and shortly after their arrival the jedi were alarmed and clone soldiers were everywhere. Newt was able to break into the chamber where the chip with the DNA was hidden and steal it. It was her chance to show her master that she wasn’t weak and that she could fulfill every order her master gave her. To show him she was able to work alone and would never betray him. Stealing the DNA itself was easy. Because of the chaos Grievous and his droids had created, the room wasn’t guarded and Newt had no problems entering it. The room was small, had white tiles on the wall and the ground and the air smelled like disinfectant. The chip was placed in the middle of some kind of heavy glass container. She cut the cap of the container off, stole the chip and left the room. Just as Newt wanted to go back to Grievous, as she was stopped by someone – A person she knew. She immediately recognised him.

Anakin Skywalker was just a few years older than her and even if she never had a lot of personal contact with him, they used to greet each other every time they walked by in the temple. His facial expression told her, he was shocked to see her and maybe also a bit surprised. Probably the jedi didn’t really know where she went, because she didn’t even told her closest friends about her plans. Anakin didn’t talked to her, but he attacked her. She didn't had much time left and the clones as well as the jedi already were everywhere - so she ran away. She ran through the stations, until she saw the next door leading outside. There she found herself standing on a round platform, directly build over the ocean. Underneath was nothing but deep, dark water. She fought against Skywalker, but he was able to steal the DNA chip with using the force. “You don’t have to do that, Newt”, he said to her. “Just come back, master Windu will continue your training.” _He’s lying_, Newt thought. She knew, she would land in prison if she ever came back to the jedi. “I’m not lying”, Anakin continued, as if he was reading her thoughts.

“I don’t want to come back”, Newt explained. She attacked him again, until dozens of clones stormed onto the platform, pointing their blasters at Newt. For a moment, Newt thought about jumping into the ocean. She was a great swimmer, she wasn’t afraid of the deep water and she doubted, the clones would follow her into it.

“Just give up”, she heard Anakin say. A second later, a mechanical hum, the sound of some kind of motor appeared. General Grievous’ ship was speeding to the platform. Newt jumped on the ship at it was close by and the general opened a hatch on the ships’ top, so Newt could jump in and found herself in the cockpit. She sat down in the chair next to Grievous’.

“What happened?”, he asked. To her surprise, he sounded more worried than angry. Newt told him the whole story and fell silent afterwards. “Do you want to go back? To the jedi.”

“What a stupid question”, Newt replied offended. “_No_, of course I don't want to go back. I never really got along with my old master. And even though I had other friends there, I never had the feeling of being a real part of their stupid community. As if I wasn’t good enough. I always felt like a misfit. No matter what I did, I always was criticised. I tried helping people and was told not to stick my nose into their businesses, I helped no one and was told it was my fault these people died. Everything, I did was wrong. _I_ was wrong.“ Newt felt a tear running down her cheek. She turned her face away, so Grievous couldn’t see it. She wasn't sad, she was just mad at the jedi. 

“You’re not”, Grievous said. “You’re not a mistake, you’re a strong woman and a good fighter.“

Grievous told Count Dooku it was all his fault – It was his fault, Newt wasn’t able to keep the DNA chip. Dooku didn’t really seem to care about it very much. He was annoyed at first, but didn’t want to talk about it any longer. Newt knew, he was angry. She walked away from the conversation, ran outside and sat down at the harbour, which was, except for Grievous’ malevolence, completely empty. The sun was just about to go down and changed the sky of the bleak, grey planet in an art piece of red-orange colour gradients.

Heavy, metallic steps where coming closer. A cough. Grievous sat down next to Newt. She didn’t felt like talking, but she still wanted to thank him for his help, for blaming himself on everything. So Newt griped his hand and squeezed it lightly. His fingers were cold, but soon became warm due to her own body temperature. Grievous fingers stroked her hand, slowly. Newts heart started beating faster, she felt a pleasant, warm feeling going through her whole body. They were sitting down like that for what felt like an eternity. But eventually, Grievous had to leave. Newt gave him a short hug as a good-bye and went to the cafeteria, eating dinner alone (since she didn‘t want to see her master again). Before she went to sleep, she meditated, thinking about everything that had happened this day. She even tried to analyse Grievous’ behaviour. _He was just trying to be nice_, she said to herself. _A cyborg can’t develop feelings for a human female_. _That is ridiculous. And vice versa. I’m not falling in love with him. I’m not…_

Was it too late for that? She said the words like a prayer, again and again, _I'm not falling in love with him,_ but she knew it wasn't preventable. Newt never thought she would like another person in this way. Jedi weren’t allowed to fall in love or to have romantically relationships and Newt never cared about this rule, since she had never met someone she liked in this way. There once was a young man, living on a planet far away, she liked and he liked her back, but it was nothing serious. He was too far away anyways and they only had spent a few days together. But with Grievous, it was different. In a strange way, he really made her feel good. Even though they didn't see each other every day, he made her happy and he also was her only friend here.__


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little bit cheesy, but even cyborgs need love sometimes.

Dooku continued with sending Newt on missions, often together with Grievous. Newt was a fast learner. She improved her abilities, got faster, stronger and at the same time also more carefully. Dooku seemed to be somewhat proud of his new apprentice, he sometimes even praised her for successful missions. 

On their next mission, Newt and Grievous were supposed to bring a specific item to an intermediary on Naboo. Newt couldn’t stand the man, but remained kind and polite towards him. Bringing him his parcel, without being seen by anyone, was hard, but manageable since he wasn't directly located in Theed, the planet's capital, but at the very edge of it. Leaving Naboo, however, was the more difficult part. The small spaceship they had taken to Naboo, was broken and someone even had robbed them. The hundred twenty credits Dooku had given Newt for food or – ironically – the repair of the ship if necessary – were gone, as well as most of their fuel for the ship.

“I’m contacting Dooku”, Newt said. “He needs to send us a new ship or at least some money for the repair.” Dooku however, wasn’t really happy about the news. He wouldn’t be able to send them a new ship today, he told her, so they had to wait until tomorrow.  
“Maybe it was a mistake to leave our ship so far away from the city”, said Newt to Grievous. “We are in the middle of some forest, no wonder we were robbed. Although I never considered Naboo to be a dangerous planet.”  
“If we had landed in the city, people would have noticed us immediately. And yes, there are criminals everywhere, even here in Naboo.”  
“They would have noticed _you_, not me. Why do we had to do this mission together? I’m not really suspicious, I could’ve done this all by myself.”  
“Fine. I will tell Dooku to never send us again on a mission.” Newt sighed.  
“I’m sorry”, she said after only a few moments. “I’m angry. I bet Dooku is just too lazy to send us a new ship now.“  
“Maybe”, Grievous answered. “And maybe you should rest for a moment, eat and drink something and calm down.”

Newt felt better after that. She didn’t brought a lot of food, but it was enough for this night and maybe even for a small breakfast tomorrow. Grievous didn’t eat, he never did. Newt wasn’t sure if he was even able to eat or drink something, she didn’t even know if he still had a normal mouth. When it started getting dark outside, Newt left the ship and meditated for a while. The clean, fresh air felt good against her skin and helped her concentrating. 

Naboo itself was beautiful. It wasn’t the first time she visited the planet, but she enjoyed the view every time. She closed her eyes and imagined an ocean with turquoise water and a cloudless sky. She tried to focus on that imagine, but suddenly the view changed – the ocean was gone, the sky was gone. She saw a face, a white, metallic face with yellow eyes. No matter how many times Newt tried to think about something else, Grievous’ always disturbed her in her mind. She went back into the ship, were Grievous sat on the ground, trying to repair the control panel.  
“If you want to sleep, there is a small bed at the other end of the ship”, he explained.  
“Don’t you want to sleep too?”, Newt asked.  
“I don’t sleep very often”, he replied. Newt nodded, even though Grievous wasn’t looking at her.  
“Why are you a cyborg?” Grievous stopped working and turned around to her. Newt tried to smile. “You don’t need to tell me. But I’d like to know.“ She sat down next to him on the cold, hard floor.  
“Because otherwise, I would have died. I was heavily injured.”  
“And where are you from, originally?”  
”Kalee.“ Grievous didn’t really want to talk about that topic, Newt realised.   
“I see. So you’re a Kaleesh. I’ve never met one in person before.”  
“My old name was Qymaen jai Sheelal. It was my name when I still was a Kaleesh.”  
“My real name is Neea Wtood”, Newt explained to him. “I was born on Ahch-To, where the jedi found me and took me with them, when I still was very young. I don’t even remember my parents. Do you had a family on Kalee?” Grievous hesitated.  
“There was a woman I really loved. She was a great fighter, just like me. But she died. I can't remember all the details, most of my memories are gone, unfortunately.” Newt placed a hand on his shoulder.  
“I am so sorry.”  
“I always thought I would never be able again to love someone. During my time as a Kaleesh, I tried to find another woman for me, but it always felt wrong and unnatural. And since I am a cyborg, I never tried it again. Why should I? No one can love someone like me, _something_ like me. I often feel humiliated by my own body. But then I met you.” Newt’s heart started racing. What was he trying to tell her? “You weren’t afraid of me and that made my angry, at first. But you were kind to me, you treated me like a normal person, not like a monster.”  
“Because you’re not a monster”, Newt interrupted. “I don’t care what other people say, I see what’s inside you. A heart. You care about me. Hopefully you know, that I care about you as well. I don't say that very often, but I like you, Grievous.“  
“I know.” Grievous started coughing. „And I don’t know, how to express myself. I don’t know, how humans do this normally.”  
“What do you mean?” Newt had no idea what was going on or what Grievous was trying to tell her. She felt nervous and impatient, but tried to stay calm.   
“I am attracted to you.” Grievous didn’t look at her. “You are considered to be very beautiful amongst humans. I notice men staring at you, sometimes even women. But you are more than only good-looking. I like you, because you are strong, independent and fearless and yet, you are kind towards the right person. Not a lot human women are like that. They are fragile, scared, don't know how to fight. Strength is what my race values the most." Making Newt speechless wasn’t easy and it never had happened before. But now she was and had no idea, what to reply. She bent over to Grievous and kissed his metallic cheek.

"I feel the same about you", Newt finally replied. She kissed him again. Grievous took a strand of her hair and rubbed it between two of his fingers. He then placed a hand on her cheek, touching the soft and warm skin there. He caressed the rest of her body with his hands, let his fingers ran over her cheek, her shoulders, arms, breasts and thighs. Excitement began to run through Newt's body.

"You have a very soft, nice skin", he said. A single finger ran over her lips. Newt licked over the finger with her tongue. It caused Grievous to make a weird noise, a noise she never heard before from him. It was a mix between a moan and a soft purr. She looked at Grievous and could see the lust in his eyes. Seeing him like that was a strange, weird feeling. Newt was sure the wasn't able to make love anymore, but he still seemed to desire her.

“I want you”, she whispered.   
“Take off your clothes”, Grievous said seriously. Newt didn’t need to think about it. She opened her robe, took off her shirt and pulled down her pants, until she was completely naked. She was laying on the floor, with Grievous right next to her. He touched and kneaded her breasts and squeezed her nipples. His touches burnt like fire on Newt’s skin. She felt good under his hands, confident and loved, even though she haven't been touched like this in years.  
“Grievous, take me”, she moaned.  
“I hope my fingers are enough for you.” Newt grinned.  
“Well, you’ve got four hands, so yes.” She instantly felt one of his hands between her legs, running over her lips, exploring the moist area with his fingertips. He spread her wet folds with two fingers and rubbed her clit with his thumb. He inserted a single finger into her cunt, Newt shivered as the cold metal touched the inside of her hot sex. Grievous was carefully and slowly, as if he was too scared to hurt her. But soon he added another finger and curled them, touching a sweet spot deep inside her. Need didn’t need long. The feeling was overwhelming, driving her crazy. She came while moaning his name, closed her eyes and pressed her naked body against his. Grievous hold her tight, waited until the twitching of her inside had stopped and pulled out his fingers. He chuckled a bit.  
"That was quick", he said. "You're really keen on me, hm?" "Shut up", Newt replied and added, after a short break: “Is there any way I can return the favour?” She wanted to pleasure him, just the way he did it to her. But Grievous shook his head.  
“Don’t worry about me, my dear”, he replied. Newt gave him a kiss and pressed her naked body tighter against his. She liked how the metal felt against her own, soft body, and Grievous seemed to like it too. He caressed her, touched every inch of her body with his claws, but always very carefully and slowly. “I like the way your body feels. How your inside feels, so warm and wet.”, he mumbled.  


Newt almost was asleep, as Grievous gripped her body and carried her to the bed. He even put a blanket over her. Stroking her hair, he stood next to the bed, watching her breathing peacefully. “Sleep with me in the bed”, she begged.  
“That will be uncomfortable”, Grievous explained.  
“I don’t care if you don’t sleep or if it’s uncomfortable for me, I just want to feel you.” How could he say no to that? He lied down next to her, trying not to touch her with his cold, hard body, but Newt instantly wrapped her arms around him.


	6. Duties

As Newt woke up, she was laying alone in her bed. She wrapped the blanket around her body like a dress, left the bed and found Grievous in the cockpit. The general was again trying to repair it, but Newt knew that he had absolutely no idea how – just like her. She never was interested in ships, something she regretted now.

“Stop destroying the ship even more”, she told Grievous. “Dooku will send someone to get us.”

“And what are we supposed to do until he’s here?” Grievous coughed. It was ridiculous, watching him sitting on the floor and playing with that control panel.

“Are you water-proof?”, Newt asked, grinning.

“What kind of question is that? But yes, I am, but not a good swimmer.”

“There’s a lake nearby. I want to swim a bit, and mostly, clean myself.”

Grievous was reluctant to do so, but he eventually followed Newt. He even went into the water with her, but didn’t swim at all. The lake surrounded by a deep, large forest and had individual bays with dark, soft sand. He watched Newt, while she washed herself with the cold, clear water of the lake. She was standing not too far away from the riverside, since the middle of the lake seemed pretty deep and she wasn’t able to stand there anymore. After she finished washing, Grievous approached her. He didn’t like walking in water, it felt strange and wrong for his cyborg body. He was only able to move very slowly.

“I think there’s another thing we could do, while we wait”, he said to Newt. Without waiting for her answer, he placed a hand between her legs. The touch aroused Newt immediately. “Do you want me, Neea?”

“I do”, she answered softly. She spread her legs a bit, so Grievous was able to enter her entrance. One of his hands started playing with her breasts and another gripped her butt. He added a second finger. Newt was moaning loudly.

“Do you want other people to hear us?”

“I absolutely don’t care.”

“Then moan louder. Moan my name.” Newt loved the way he was talking to her. Dominant, demanding. “You’re a slut and I want everyone to know.” His words let her body shiver. Grievous pushed another finger inside her and Newt screamed. It was too much for her, the stretching was almost painful. But it also was an extremely satisfying feeling. Grievous chuckled at her reaction.

“I’m… coming.” A last, loud scream. Grievous felt her body tense. She began to twitch and pushed Grievous hands away. “You’re killing me.” She gave him a kiss before they both left the water, Newt got dressed and they went back to their non-functioning spaceship. 

The ship, Dooku had send to rescue the both, arrived at noon._ It’s weird_, Newt thought. _But if these thieves didn’t robbed us, Grievous maybe would’ve never told me about his feelings._ It felt strange to think like this, but Newt was happy about the unexpected event. But somehow her gut feeling was trying to tell her that something was off. Newt tried to ignore the feeling, telling herself that she was overreacting due to all these new and exciting experiences.

“I am very much satisfied with your work”, her master told her later that day while they were walking down a long corridor. “You and Grievous are a good team.”

“Thank you, master”, Newt replied.

“Do you two get along better by now?” New couldn’t help, but smiled.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Good. Not that I would like Grievous very much myself but it is advantageous, you two get along. However, I already have a new mission for you. You can take Grievous with you, again, but you need to do the task.”

“What do I have to do?”

“You need to kill Mace Windu.” They had reached the door of Newts chamber. She nodded, opened her door and sat down on her bed.

_I can’t do this_, she thought. _I don’t **want** to do this._ But did she had a choice? She had to do what her master wanted her to do, even if she didn’t like it. She had done things she didn’t liked when she still was a padawan, she was used to it. But none of these things ever involved killing someone she knew for many years. Newt meditated for hours, trying to find a solution for her problem. _You must do what’s right_, she heard her old masters voice saying. Maybe she could spare Mace and just ran away. Never going back to Serenno again. And then? She would be lost in this brutal, cold-hearted galaxy. What would Grievous think about her plans? Would he still like a traitor? Would he still stand on her side, if she ran away and left Dooku? Newt highly doubted that. Although Grievous wasn’t a monster at all, he valued loyalty and solidarity. _I’ll do it_, Newt decided eventually, but she wasn’t able to fall asleep. Again and again, she thought about Mace, about Dooku and Grievous and about the so called right thing.

Maybe this mission was just a test. Dooku, trying to test her loyalty and obedience. Newt contacted Grievous the next day, asking him to come to Serenno and talk about the up-coming mission. He arrived just a few hours later and Newt led him into her chamber. She needed privacy and couldn’t risk some droid spying on their conversation.

“Do you already miss me?”, he asked, coughed and chuckled. “How about you start taking your clothes off then?” Grievous glanced around. Newts chamber wasn’t small, but not very big either. She had a closet, a dresser, a mirror and a large bed with only one single pillow and a small, thin blanket. The stone-floor was the same as in the rest of Dookus estate and the walls had a beige to light brown colour.

“No, that’s not why you’re here”, Newt replied miffed. “Dooku gave me a new mission and I want to talk about it with you.”

“What do we need to do?”

“_My_ mission is to kill Mace Windu, my old master. You’ll accompany me and help me, but I need to kill him myself.” She stopped for a moment, before she continued. “Please don’t tell Dooku, but I don’t feel very good about killing Mace. Even though we had our differences, he doesn’t deserve to die.”

“Neea, you need to do what your master wants you to”, Grievous answered, somewhat softly. “Dooku is your master now. You need to listen to him.”

“I know”, Newt said and sighed. Grievous sat down on her bed, gripped her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “My dear, we will succeed. Believe me. We will win this war, and we will live together in the future. In our own property, far away from everyone else.” Just imaging this filled Newt with pure-happiness.

“That sounds great”, Newt admitted. She placed a kiss on Grievous’ face mask. She pressed her face against his breast plate and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Everything will be fine”, Grievous told her, and she believed him. They talked about their plans for a while and spend most of the rest of the day in Newts chamber, cuddling and exchanging sweet nothings. Killing a jedi with someone like Grievous on her side would be easy. Newt was glad, she wasn’t alone.

They would start the mission the day after tomorrow. Windu was supposed to be on Ryloth, probably together with other jedi or at least some clones. Instead of thinking about the mission, Newt tried to focus on the positive things, like her future life with Grievous.


	7. Deeds

Dooku explained every single step of the plan to Newt. How she was able to find the jedi and how she could win the fight against Mace. What techniques did he uses? How can you block his attacks? He trained with her for hours, before she would fly to Ryloth the next morning. They trained, until Newt was so tried and exhausted, that she begged her master to stop. But he didn’t stop, he attacked her again and again, until Newt finally won a battle. She still didn’t feel ready for a fight against Mace Windu. It felt too rushed, but she had no choice. It was now or never and Dooku made clear, Newt didn’t have to come back if she wouldn’t win. Although she was tired and had several wounds from the training, she couldn’t sleep that night and fell asleep shortly before the sun started rising again. 

Grievous visited Newt early in the morning. As she didn’t open the door to his knocks, he just went in and found her sleeping in her bed. She slept so peacefully and calm, Grievous didn’t want to wake her up. He watched her for a moment, then he placed a hand on her shoulder, stroking her softly. Newt slowly opened her eyes. “What are you doing here?”, she asked.  
“Our mission…”  
“It’s too early.” Newt sat up in her bed and greeted Grievous with a quick kiss. “I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I’m still pretty nervous, to be honest. Killing a jedi isn’t easy…”  
“I killed dozens of them. We will make it.” Newt wasn’t too sure about that. Something deep inside her told her that this wasn’t a good idea. She felt horrible, had headache, was still tired and her whole body was sore.  
“I think I need a shower. Just wait here.” 

She went to her bathroom, taking a quick shower, while Grievous waited on her bed. Newt returned, wearing nothing than a dark towel, covering her naked body underneath.  
“Do you want to have some fun before we leave?”, Grievous asked and chuckled. Newt knew, what that meant. She didn’t really felt like it, but just a moment later she found herself pushed against the wall, with Grievous’ body pressed against her. Well, maybe it’ll relax me a bit, she thought, and started kissing him. Newt caressed his neck and let her fingers run over the smooth metal. She still was fascinated by his body. Grievous threw her towel away massaged her breasts for a while, before his hands traveled down, between her legs. He inserted a finger into her wet hole and started pushing it in and out. His thumb started rubbing her clit, roughly and hard. She was panting, breathing heavily, arms wrapped around his body and trying to scratch his back with her fingernails. Her orgasm was hard and long and probably the best, she ever had. She felt better, more confident and even her fatigue was mostly gone. 

Dooku wasn’t happy about the late arrival of his two apprentices. The droid army was already waiting for them, the ship was ready to leave. Entering the ship, Newt overcame a great feeling of insecurity and sadness, for unknown reasons. Stay calm, she told herself. Don’t show them your insecurities. 

Ryloth, a planet filled with volcanoes, deserts and canyons. It was too hot and gaunt for Newts liking. She wanted to finish the mission as soon as possible and fly back home to Serenno. Newt and Grievous, accompanied by a large number of the separatist’s battle droids, found the jedi-camp quite quickly. Unfortunately, the jedi brought clone troopers with them and it didn’t take long until the flat, monotonous area turned into a battle-field. Mace Windu was fighting against droids, as Newt approached him. He didn’t notice her at first, but as he turned her head and saw her, he stopped fighting for a moment. Newt pulled out her lightsaber.  
“What is your plan, Newt?”, Mace asked. “Do you really want to fight against me?”  
“I need to do it”, Newt replied. Without waiting for her old masters answer, she started the fight. Newt knew most of Windu’s tactics and so the fight went well for her for a while. She was able to predict the majority of his moves, but Newt still wasn’t sure if she would win. Mace had a lot of power and as Newt started feeling exhausted, he wasn’t tired at all.  
“Stop it, Newt, you can’t win this fight”, Mace yelled. But I need to, Newt thought. My master will abandon me, if I lose. But then she realised, she wasn’t strong enough for Mace. I am weak. She still was able to block all of his attacks, but wasn’t able to attack him herself. Maybe he’ll let me go if I surrender. She let her lightsaber fall and made a step backwards and even Mace put his weapon away.  
“I – “, Newt started, when something hard and hot hit her in the back. Mace screamed something. Newt fell over, landing in the sand on her stomach, exposing the wound of a blaster in her upper back. Mace stared in disbelief at the clone trooper behind her. 

\- END -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written anything in English in ages, but I still hope this fic was more or less acceptable and that someone out there liked it. I know, the timeline is a bit messed up, but please just try to ignore this fact. If you want, leave me a comment with your feedback! This story will also be available on Wattpad, in an (hopefully) improved version


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